We Surrender

We give up. Throwing in the white towel. Admitting defeat. Watching the last of many Hail Mary passes fall far short of the end zone.

We're going back to diapers.

After TWO YEARS of potty training, I can no longer take it. The piles of smelly laundry. The perpetual smell in her bedroom. Two or three outfit changes a day. Cleaning the carpet. Cleaning the carseat. Cleaning up, cleaning after, cleaning again.

I'm sure diapers are probably more expensive than laundry detergent, but probably less money than the pills it will require to keep me sane.

For posterity, here is everything we have tried...

Immediate rewards (where you get a treat or a sticker immediately after going potty): this works for about two days, then at one point she just doesn't want the treat and so goes in her pants.

Long-term rewards (where you get a prize or a treat for going all day, or for a number of days): must just seem too long for her. Awhile ago she wanted to stay up for an all night party, so we figured if she could stay dry for 30 days she could stay up as late as she wanted. She earned a sticker for every dry day - the longest streak was 9 days. Months ago she did manage to earn enough stickers for something she wanted, but when the prize was obtained, she goes back to having accidents.

Punishment for accidents: not that I agree with that philosophy, but we tried time out for awhile. Led to lying about accidents, so then we had to punish accidents and lying. Abandoned that quickly.

Going 'al fresco': leads to accidents on the floor.

Making her clean up afterward: she thinks cleaning up is fun. She would love nothing more than to get the carpet cleaner out every day. I think she would wet the floor every day just to do it.

Not reacting (more specifically, to try and stay positive, like "It's too bad you had an accident, but I know you can stay dry!): again only works for a day or two at most. Apparently she's not after verbal praise.

Reminding her to go (either verbal reminders or a timer): she quickly becomes dependent on the timer or other system. When she has an accident, blames it on the fact that "it wasn't time to go."

Leaving something fun/canceling planned activities: she cries tons of crocodile tears. But then will have an accident later in the day again. She's going to miss ballet this Wednesday and I know there will be tears, but she wet her entire outfit at the end of class last week because she was too busy having fun. I know it won't work, but I can't let her think that it doesn't matter.

There are some bright spots: I have re-instituted naptime (kids in diapers take naps), early bedtime (kids in diapers go to bed early) and no more cartoons. Kids in diapers also don't get to go fishing, help with the laundry, or play on the computer.

I'm hoping that a year and a half from now the other kids in her kindergarten class will "help" get her out of diapers.

Until then, we're buying stock in Pampers.